the darkest night, we celebrate

It's cold and dark outside

let's go inside.

The darkest night starts.

We think that the light bulb will give us the needed light,

but we're struck to realize that the darkness doesn't go away.

We go back home, to see mother, father,

sisters or brothers, 

real life friends and foes,

who, like mirrors in the morning, show us our real face.

Suddenly, we see ourselves, vulnerably naked.

Conflicts, reactions, deep conversations,

real joy,

frank confessions or hypocrisy,

even fights and unbearable internal anguish,

all come out too clear to deny on that mirror of the other. 

Alone at home, there is no difference,

the empty space, the surrounding silence,

the long solitude hours, 

are also mirrors that reflect our real face.

As the sap goes down to the roots,

we too travel deep down inside,

looking at the essence of our being:

who am I really?

why my mother insists in the bread being perfect?

why my brother keeps drinking so much?

why my sister's on the phone in that corner?

why dad is always giving me advice?

why she's always ignoring me?

why do I react like this? 

why don't I care more?

And all the whys you can ask.

Some wonder if the holidays are celebration

or torture.

We are expected to do things,

we have to decorate,

we have to buy presents,

we have to cook this and that,

we have to go there,

they have to come here.

One way or another, the darkest night

touches us all with those emotions we've been avoiding all year long.

Still some others close down to them...

too painful to feel them.

If we choose to pay attention,

and allow ourselves to crack open, 

so the light gets in,

we may distill a purer sap to give life next Spring.